What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 05:41
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I have no regrets .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
If Trump were to lose in 2024, would that be the end of his grip on the Republican Party?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
One cannot live in the past .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Is anyone up to have a little conversation?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
How do I build muscle easily with isometrics?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I could never make a relationship work though!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Where and how did ballet originate?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
So, i spoilt her more .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Why is Reddit blocked by the Indonesian government?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?
Put me off passion for life!!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
When she asked me how she looked .
How do military families balance personal political views with respect for civilian leadership?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Is it ok for someone to crossdress in public?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Why was the rock band Kiss so successful?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
This is soul school!.
My life is so biszare .
Can supporters of gun control explain the purpose behind a gun registry?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
We were not on the streets..
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But, we were locked up after school.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
What are some ballbusting stories?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
All the time i was locked up.
I waited trembling.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She loved him until the end.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I think the readers, may guess!
What did i know ?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I don,t even have a pension.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He knew the spot.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Comes on , in middle age.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She was in good health!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She wouldn,t have been !
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
And i lived it daily.
Why did i forgive my father ?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Was to survive, this bastard.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
We all went to grammer schools
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I said to her
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I was very sick at this time too.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I was seconnd youngest,
So whats the point in blame.
I write beautiful poetry .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She married twice! .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But it wasn’t much.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was scared of men, in general
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
It was going to be , some day.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She found it foreign!.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Who then, do I blame.?
My family never makes their pension either.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Ive learnt so much.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I will be 64.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
(And it was in our own minds.)
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was 9 years of age.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Would this be the day?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Im still living with it.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!